Not Abusive

What is Commonly Known, but Less Commonly Experienced – Sexual Abuse

It is one of the greatest wrongs in the history of Christianity that the very persons who are in ministry should then be the very cause of hurting the people of God. The world most commonly knows of sexual abuse by clergy upon the most vulnerable of our society and how the church has covered over its shame time and time again. Sexual sins do not just occur in the Roman Catholic Church, but they have occurred, and could occur anywhere. It is imperative that this be specifically identified as an evil and that it will not be tolerated. There is no place for such an abomination of what our Lord Jesus Christ intended for good and not for evil. Only Jesus can bring healing and therefore we must ensure that the Christian Ministry is able to rightly minister to those who have been abused and able to promote protection, because of a standard of godliness in the ministry and a godly commitment to the exposing of what is wrong.

What is Less Commonly Known, but Most Commonly Experienced – Spiritual Abuse

What is less known, yet far more frequent, especially in the evangelical churches, is spiritual, emotional, and psychological abuse. It is an abuse particular to the true people of God, who are especially prone to such abuse, because the people of God are sheep. Having been conquered of a rebellious nature, given a new heart, full of love for Jesus and His kingdom, the sheep can be taken advantage of by wolves in sheep’s clothing. The Scriptures are very specific about this.

Matthew 7:15,16 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?”

Acts 20:28-30 “Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves men will arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them.”

2 Corinthians 11:19-21 For you, being so wise, tolerate the foolish gladly. For you tolerate it if anyone enslaves you, anyone devours you, anyone takes advantage of you, anyone exalts himself, anyone hits you in the face. To my shame I must say that we have been weak by comparison.

Galatians 2:4,5 But it was because of the false brethren secretly brought in, who had sneaked in to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, in order to bring us into bondage. But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

Galatians 4:17 They eagerly seek you, not commendably, but they wish to shut you out so that you will seek them.

1 Peter 5:1-3 Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.

3 John 1:9,10 I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say. For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words; and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren, either, and he forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church.

Here are some signs that you are in an abusive relationship with someone in “the ministry”

It is not ok to leave, while the pastor is free to be called somewhere else (not withstanding his claim that he is committed for life)
You are coerced by an authority other than the Word of God or the Word of God is used wrongfully to coerce
You are the problem because you have pointed out a problem
You are targeted from the pulpit either directly or indirectly, associated with bad people in the Bible
The pastor tells you to ignore people
The pastor pits people against each other, such as getting wives to correct their husbands
You feel like your marriage is being undermined
There is a heavy-handed feel to the pastor’s visits
You feel a negative feeling that is burdening
You feel like you cannot escape
The pastor has a long track record of broken relationships
Those who leave are “cut off” and forgotten or only remembered negatively
You are serving “the man” and always having to affirm the ministry while you are starving
There is a remnant mentality that looks down on other Christians and churches
There is an inner circle around the pastor that is not good
You are being manipulated for the benefit of the pastor
You are told, “No one else has a problem with that”
There is discipline without love or harsh and impatient correction
The pastor pushes back against concerns, claiming ‘divine rule’ or the right to privacy in ministry matters
Certain persons are allowed to constantly flatter the pastor and are too close because they are favored, especially concerning when it involves women
The pastor portrays himself on the one hand as a victim suffering persecution and on the other hand as “the captain of his ship” exercising necessary authority
To question the pastor is to question Christ

In the following sermon in Mark 12, Jesus warns against false ministers of the Word, who merely feed upon the people of God. They appear to be deserving of honor, and yet, Jesus contrasts them with one who is truly deserving of praise, though counted the very least.

November 8, 2020 – Mark 12:38-44